Wine For the Road

The Darwin Awards are awarded to people who have died because they made an incredibly stupid mistake.   They have essentially removed themselves from the gene pool, giving evolution a big assist.  They also give honorable mentions for good (but failed) attempts.  One of those went to Labile (name changed for obvious reasons), who found an innovative way to consume vast quantities of wine at a price of zero. He invented wine for the road.  I cannot count the number of ways he could have died.  Forthwith, the tale of the crafty wine slurper.